Message from Dutch PM Rutte to President Trump

Dear mr Trump,

By now you must have learned that we, the Dutch, would like to be second, after the USA. Being first and second brings a special kind of friendship and I am used to share my thoughts with my fellow countrymen so I will do the same with you.
I’ve followed your amazing campaign and first week of power with growing amazement. You’ve made more promises (and broken them) than I have in 6 years. But you have almost 49% of the votes, something I can only dream of because here in Europe we do one man one vote without Electoral College. With such a mandate and such wealth you are in a position to earn trust and get Great Things done.

You are going to solve Big Problems with the flash of your pen you say, but I am an experienced PM and I think that it’s not going to be that easy. I would like to give you some well meant advice.

About that Wall

It’s already there, I checked, it’s huge! It’s already separating families because father (or mother) was deported after forgetting to blink a light or forgetting to smile friendly at a police officer. I would advice to build it not too high because the (political) climate in your country is causing more and more hard working Mexicans to go home, don’t make it to difficult for them!

But if you insist on completing the full 2000 miles, and you say you do, then you have to think about the reality of financing the darn thing. Because money (or lack thereof) is what makes the world go round. We, as a world community, can’t afford to have more Greek situations on the other side of the Atlantic, so please organize the funding BEFORE you start building. Saying “The American People are going to pay the 15 billion dollars needed (for starters), but I, the President will take care to get it back from the Gringos Mexicans”. Sorry, but your track record shows that you are a serial defaulter (i.e. Wasting investors money) and you still owe Deutsche Bank 300 million dollars. Not a very trustworthy starting position. So I would like to propose you a better solution. 

We, the Dutch, invented the share (look it up) and I advice that you crowdfund the Wall. This has several advantages:

* you need to quantify the benefit for your Shareholders  

* “We the People” can then participate in your venture (just $312 per Trump Supporter!)

* Before being allowed to crowdfund a round a Due Diligence is needed so you can finally show your Tax Returns 

* Crowd Funding is really 2017, just like Management by Tweet

After the wall is completed your shareholders will receive your promised dividend. It may be a good idea to make a glossy prospect with measurable goals, shareholders are allergic for baked air. If you sell baked air make sure it’s the best baked air by the way.

Just a few more issues before I finish:

* Ending economic relations with a Mexico will destroy their economy. This will lead to an explosion of immigrants, we have much experience with that in Europe. Sad!

* Are you willing to back your Presidential Orders with your personal wealth? There are quite a few people who are afraid that your desire to re-coalify your economy may prove more destructive than your facts suggest.

* I tragically lost my bet for a bottle of wine with Angela, because I said it would take two weeks before you would insult a neighbour…….but it took you only six days. We are good neighbours though, she invited me to uncork the bottle and celebrate our friendship.

* China will quicky fill the void you create by slamming the door shut, the Dollar will be the Greatest little currency.

Greetings from your friend,

Mark Rutte, Prime Minister of the Best Kingdom of the Netherlands

Satire, No Joke!

Lars Boelen & Doris Voss

Dutch civilians win their Climate Class action lawsuit….Now What?

Today 900 Dutch civilians, organised by Climate Change action comittee Urgenda (from: Urgence Agenda), won a historic lawsuit against the Dutch state, demanding that the state delivers on its promisses made in Kyoto and EU-treaties. The dutch conservative and neoLiberal parties that have been in charge ever since the turn of the century had so far refused to take major actions to help the environment. The “why disrupt society if there is still some doubt” was accepted by the majority of the parliament all that time.

In 2013 we had enough of it and went to court and today the judge said we were right. So here we are, fresh victory in the pocket and the government flabbergasted. I expect some staring in the headlights from the goverment and parliament, so I guess we’ll have to nudge them in the right direction. Here we go.

First let’s make the judges verdict S.M.A.R.T

“Lower Hollands CO2 output by 25% in 2020 compared to the Kyoto baseline in 1990”. WOW.

CO2 levels 1990 : 161 billion kilo

Emissions in the last known year (2013): 166 billion kilo
Goal 2020 : 1990 – 25% = 120 billion kilo
Reduction goal : 46 miljard kilo, 28% of current emmisions
Reductiondate 31-12-202 = 5,5 years

So that means reduce CO2 emissions by 8 billion kilos per year for almost 6 years

If we analyze the sad numbers from the bureau of statistics we discover that:
– big industry has done nothing in 25 years
– small business has already reached -25% (do they have a business advantage by going green?)
– Coalplants burn more
– Waste incinneraotrs burn way more
– Traffic (driving and flying)
-households do marginally better

So what is the action plan for the next 5 years? 

1. We remove Megacorps from the negotiation tables. They have done NOTHING in the last quarter century but fund extreme right “think tanks” and pay posh firms to greenwash their results. The door is there, bye bye! We will tell you the new rules when we are done.
 Ahhhhhhhhhh……… That feels good, now we can take serious actions
2. The Taxfreetour Apple, Shell, royal family, Nestlé, Coca Cola, Ikea & Co – leaves nothing in the war chest so important national questions (this climate thing is one of them) never got the funding they deserve. The 1%’ers were enjoying the results. Wasn’t tax at one time the national crowdfunding campaign for good ideas? 
3. Let’s start listening to SMB to learn how to really make companies sustainable  
4. Transportation MUST defossilize and quickly too. We have electric bikes, scooters and cars. Now we only have to do busses and trucks and ferries. 
5. Kerosene tax and because 25€ tickets to Costa del Sol are ruining the planet.
6. Building code changes tomorrow: only zero net energy allowed from now on, Passiv-Haus from 2020 onwards
7. Burning waste as a heat source…….poof ….we’ll up cycle from now on
8. Heat distribution networks are based on coal and gas plants  so no thank you. The glasshouse farmers will switch to Geo-heat where that make sense. 
9. New tax on solar panel less roofs (rate based on wasted solar energy)
10. National insullation campaign. We have 1.2 million “non productive” working age people, they’re the heroes of tomorrow when they roll out the insullation program.

So it’s really easy actually: remove Megacorps from policy making, make plans, roll them out, collect taxes from the polluters and the 1%’ers.

Let’s do it!!

ps. What is this going to cost? Going to a new renewable society (in the 17th century Holland ruled the world on wind power) is the only solution. I went fossil free for €15k and will write it of in 10 years after which I will save 150€/month that I can invest in my local economy forever. That will change the economy in unforeseen ways, but my gut says that that is better than praying to Putin and Saudi Arabia.